Happy, actually.
I am all smiles today.

Well, mostly smiles. I can't completely abandon my trademark sneer just because I'm being showered with wonderful things. That would be fickle and I, as a matter of practice, am only fickle when it comes to men. But it has been a good week, despite that nasty bit of tax business. Brigitte has been out of town for several days so I have been having scads of fun fucking her guys. Don't worry, fellas, I won't name names.

I am counting the days until the move and every time it creeps one day closer, I feel like dancing. Actually, I have been dancing more, too, since I finally found a decent place to go dancing here. My friend Janie and I spent yesterday in Texas, which reminded me that things can always get worse. I got a 90 minute massage yesterday afternoon and you can imagine what that has done for my temperament.

A filthy cocksucker I know and love bought me a digital camera and I have been taking pictures like mad. I can spend hours wandering around the photography section of a museum, especially the black and white sections or anywhere with night photography. It drives me crazy that I don't have enough artistic talent to snap a halfway decent picture myself. My pictures are really bland, but I am determined to change that.

Petunia sent me a whole pile of books, including Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, which I have been dying to read. There is also one called Good Wives, Nasty Wenches & Anxious Patriarchs. As a bit of a nasty wench myself, you know I'm going to love that one.

Benedict Arnold got me those drawer liners I have been wanting forever AND my favorite new sex toy. If you've heard a mysterious buzzing sound while we've been on the phone lately, this is the source. Seriously, this thing is awesome and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to buy a present for a special girl. It hits my g-spot perfectly. It may look a little strange in the picture, but in person it is adorable. The translucent pink color is really pretty.

That Guy With the Freakishly Huge Balls sent me the most rocking pair of white gold diamond hoops. I swear, I will never complain about his enormous cock tearing me up again. Ever, ever, ever. Okay, that last part isn't true. I always complain.

Pretty Ruby and I have been going on a clothes bender together. I am picking out beautiful clothes for her to wear and she has been surprising me with lots of gorgeous clothes, too. I think my new bikini is the hottest swimsuit I've ever owned. It has these great pink and white and lavender stripes. It's working wonders helping me churn out blue balls all over Louisiana.

Oh and I got two other presents that didn't come with names on them. You boys need to call me and tell me who you are so I can give you appropriate doses of gratitude and whisper hot, dirty things in your ears.